I'm sitting, trying to write as I normally do, a pastor's report to council, a pastor's annual report, a pastor's blog, a sermon for Sunday. It's a new year, and new month, a new week and a new day. But I'm having trouble letting go of last year, last month, last week. When I left for my 40th high school reunion in November, little did I know how much would change. Mary died. Peter died. Christmas came and went in a swirl of services, snow storms and six grandchildren whirling through. And now in the stillness, post Christmas, post funerals, post busyness, when normal usually sets in, I notice myself resisting.
I am finding that trauma of the last few months is bigger than I thought it would be. Harder on my heart, more difficult in the community of Family of Grace. I am not able to put it behind me and get back to normal. I find myself called back into the community for mutual consolation as we adjust to a new normal, as we grieve together. And we make new memories as we console one another with the consolation we first receive from God.
We remember that God is with us, going before us to prepare a way, beside us to give us strength, and behind us to give meaning to our memories and pick up the pieces of our troubled lives. That is not a new normal, it is an old promise we see more clearly at times like these.
hold me grandpa....