|looking back at the photographer's looking at our backs|
The other day I checked messages on my home phone and listened to an old message mom left in October after she saw the peppering of cancers in her lungs. She was encouraging, worried about my worrying. I'm keeping the message so I can listen on occasion.
As we wander in a rush towards Christmas and the family gathering, I wonder what it will be like, this first Christmas without her. I'm looking forward to our longest night services. I hope that naming the grief and pain and sadness will help me be truly present to the living and the joy of gathering with all those so intimately tied to our hopes and dreams.
I am understanding Emmanuel, God With Us, in a new, deep way.